how i think post-its should be used

so i've decided to write a second post today rather than grade the essays my grade 12 kids have so begrudingly written last week. i know they're expecting their marks on tuesday, but that won't likely happen. i suppose i should try and be interesting now, shouldn't i?

thursday was april fool's day. i love april fool's day. it's a great day - the one day a year i have an excuse to behave the way i do most days. you see, despite the fact that i am a twenty-six year old high school teacher, i have the maturity of a fourteen-year old boy. anywho, this was it, the day to prank the kids... here's how thatwent...

the first prank...

my first period class is a grade 10 french class, and the kids are pretty good (most of the time) - i figured they'd be gullible, but i needed something good. something with substance. i thought about telling them i was dying of mad cow disease (easily the scariest disease out there - seriously), but they wouldn't buy that. i thought about telling them there was a pop quiz (!), except i never give pop quizzes and it is probably one of the oldest tricks in the book; they'd see right through me. finally, i figured it out : i would stage a fight with a student. i found the perfect ally, justin, a kid with whom i get along most days, but doesn't really love school and isn't exactly a model student. we discussed it quickly and then waited.

the first bell rang.

the kids started filing in, finding their seats, excited about both april fool's day and easter long week-end. they were chattering away, oblivious to my plan.

the second bell rang.

i started asking them about their plans for the week-end, were they excited, blah blah blah, and then i asked them to take out a sheet of looseleaf and a pen - they were going to write an opinion letter. they weren't going to be evaluated on it yet, they could write about anything, etc. i heard some groans, and then, justin wrote on his sheet "madame est une bitch" . i yelled at him, sent him to the office. he flipped me the bird, grabbed my starbucks from my desk and spilled it on the floor, the kids gasped.

muahahahahaha. i had them right where i wanted them. some of the nicer ones started to clean up the coffee on the floor, others whispered feverishly... they were wondering what i was going to do to justin. was i going to have him expelled? was i going to break his fingers one by one? was i going to cover him with slime?

no.

no i was not.

i went to fetch him from the hallway about seven or eight minutes later, and we walked back in class together, shouting "poisson d'avril!"

i thought the kids in the class were going to riot. oh they were not impressed. they were pissed. they were livid. lasers were shooting out of their eyes. but it was worth it.

the second prank...

patt was one of my students first semester. he is now done my class, but still visits me pretty often. well, on wednesday, patt thought it would be funny to put a piece of chewed up gum on my door handle.

so i put post-its all over the windows of his car (i ran out of yellow ones, so i had to use the green...)